What is a Pub Sub? Tips and Tricks for Publix sub aficionados.

Maybe it’s the searing summer heat.  Or the thick wet blanket of tropical humidity that descends on Florida for months at a time. Or maybe it’s some combination of the two that seems to cause some very strange behavior in the Sunshine State.

To be more specific, what is it about a certain sandwich that turns countless Florida lunch-goers into cult-like zombies every time they queue-up to the deli section of their local neighborhood Publix?

The answer could only be one thing.  This is no ordinary sandwich of which we speak.  This meaty concoction on a long crusty roll is none other than the famous Publix Sub, a traditional lunchtime indulgence that makes millions of otherwise sane Floridians get weak in the knees.

Before you chalk this up to just another weird Florida tale, allow me to explain the cult of Publix Supermarkets to the uninitiated.

When I first moved to Florida from New York City more than 22 years ago, I had never even heard of Publix much less anything having to do with the zealous devotion it inspires among its many (and I do mean MANY) loyal customers.

From a city where everyday grocery shopping is the ultimate in torture and humiliation, I had suddenly arrived in a place where food shopping was as pleasurable as Bloomingdales on a Saturday morning.

Indeed, I arrived in the Land of Publix with absolutely no concept of how truly good service could be from such a colossal chain of supermarkets.  All I had to go on was my own experience.  So, from a place where the large chain supermarkets were poorly lit, poorly stocked, poorly maintained, and poorly managed I had suddenly arrived in a vast wonderland of food where everything was is its place, you are treated like family, and cared for like visiting royalty.

Needless-to-say, my first Publix shopping experience delivered a major shock to my system, and I developed trust issues at first.  (What do all these really nice people really want from me?)

But as I got used to being treated like a prince at every branch I visited, I fast became a Publix junkie, with the chain becoming something of a mommy substitute.  And as of today, I am firmly of the mind that we would all be better off, and certainly be better fed, if we would just let Publix run the country like it runs its stores.

But back to the Publix Sub thing.  Even I, a huge fan of Publix, had no idea how deep the feelings run about the sandwich.  The Chicken Tenders Sub, for example, has its own Facebook page—with some 16,000 followers—that alerts its fans whenever the sandwich goes on sale, among other important sandwich news. (Important sandwich news?)  Moreover, it also has a dedicated Twitter page—with some 43,000 followers—that does pretty much the same thing!  There are even Reddit forums devoted to discussing issues regarding the sandwich.  (Issues regarding a sandwich?)

And the piece de resistance: There’s a nearly four-minute song on YouTube about Publix subs!  That said, could a feature film be far behind?  (Sub-less in Seattle?)

Life is short.  So, if you are new to the Publix Sub experience, you might as well go straight to the mountaintop.   Here are the store’s five recommended choices:

1. Chicken Tender Sub
2. Italian Sub
3. Chicken Cordon Bleu Sub
4. Ultimate Sub
5. Havana Bold Sub

There’s even a recommended etiquette for ordering:

1. Be nice to deli associates (Does that sound like your mommy or what!)
2. Boar’s Head only—only the best meat from a Florida-based company will do.
3. Order online—especially large orders.
4. Limit three subs per person (It’s bad enough that the person in front of you ordered two.  But three?)
5. No shopping carts in the sub line—takes up too much people-waiting space.

Admittedly, I haven’t sampled enough varieties of the Publix Sub to understand why so many people wait so patiently in line—often five and six deep—without becoming so unhinged they go elsewhere.   Here again, it must be that mommy role that Publix seems to fulfill so well.  Who among us wouldn’t gladly wait patiently if mommy was making our favorite sandwich for lunch?  For the record, I always get the Ultimate Sub.

Belonging to the cult of Publix means much more than just a passionate devotion to a sandwich.  We are also in thrall to another iconic Florida favorite that Publix whips up so perfectly—its famous Key Lime Pie.  Now the official state pie of the Florida (I kid you not), I couldn’t tell you how many times a Publix key lime pie has saved my life when I needed a quick hostess gift.

People have been known to exchange online intelligence about which stores are selling such fan favorites as the ever popular (but elusive) Hula Hula Macadamia Nut Ice Cream, a seasonal favorite.  A good friend of mine goes to Publix because it’s the only store (she insists) that carries Tony’s Cedar Key Clam Chowder.  Personally, I am such a freak for Publix Fried Chicken that KFC and other fast-food friers never touch my lips.

For my money, it’s not so much the sub that leaves an extra good taste in your mouth.  Lots of places make perfectly good subs and other signature sandwiches. Instead, it’s the whole experience of ordering it.  Of becoming a sandwich artist and teaming up with an always-cheerful deli clerk on its design and construction. Of seeing fresh vegetables from the nearby produce section expertly matched with freshly sliced Boars’ Head meats from the adjacent deli counter and fresh bread from the in-store bakery.  And, of course, checking out this week’s BOGO’s before I depart the premises.

At the end of the day, the assembly line feel of the larger sandwich chains is replaced by a marvelous one-on-one collaboration between you and…well…your mommy.